The Complete Gym Personality Guide ...Which One Are You??

Muscle bulding Humor from the Obsessive Compulsive Rep Counter to Leisure Suit Harry in the tight Gym Shorts, these are the people that you meet when you're lifting. If you read one that fits you, just stand loud and proud, the gym would be nothing without you. Sometimes, when a person sets foot inside the gym, they turn into a whole other person. If you've been to pretty much any gym in the world, you are sure to recognize the people you're about to read about...

MUSCLE BUILDING HUMOR..1. Smell Me Madge, I Soaked In It.

You can detect this person coming before they even set foot inside the door of the gym. Little tip: it's fine to wear a little perfume or cologne to the gym but don't soak your clothes in it. Have a shower instead.

2. Obsessive Compulsive Rep Counter

Like a meditation mantra, the numbers get counted until the specific magic number has been reached. To really have some fun, stand behind this person as they do their set and start saying random numbers out loud as they count.

3. Leisure Suit Larry In The Tight Gym Shorts

Looking for love in all the wrong places. Often a colgne-soaker and always on the prowl, even constant and harsh rejection from every single female he encounters (including the potted plants) doesn't seem to slow Larry down

MUSCLE BUILDING HUMOR..4. Don't Make Me Lift That Heavy Thing

If you've ever watched someone monopolize the 2-pound neoprene dumbells for 20 minutes, you've seen this person in action. Fear of developing massive, icky-looking, veiny muscles from even looking at anything heavier than a Rice Krispie Treat keeps this person away from the weights that actually have numbers written on them. I've seen a person like this straining with a novelty dumbell pen.

5. You Don't Need A Jack For That Car Now That I'm Here

Cinch that weight belt up until you look like a big red Pop 'n Fresh doughboy in a corset, it's time to do 3 inch, hunched-over, bowl-legged, shaky-leg squats! There's something to be said for lifting within your means (and for not cinching your weight belt up so tight that you crapp yourself during a set).

6. Where's The Ashtray For This Treadmill?

You can always spot the person who's at the gym against their will and under doctors orders. They are doing as little as possible as slowly as possible and are always looking for somebody to work in with them so that they can stop and have a chat

MUSCLE BUILDING HUMOR..7. The Bouncy Bench Press Crew

Young males travelling in packs of 3 or more, hogging the bench press for uncounted sets of trampoline-like reps with far too much weight while their training partners do bicep curls while yelling "it's all you" as though it really is. I hear the concave chest look is "in" this year...

8. Please Don't Wear That

Some people simply should NOT wear spandex and I can't figure out why they do. Everything there on show like a market stall I'll leave it at that


No matter how much anybody tells this person that the exercise they're doing is going to shatter their spine, they continue to pig-headedly do it anyway because their 9th grade gym teacher taught it to them 26 years ago.

10. The Beast

You'll often see this person banging their head against the concrete wall to psych themselves up for a set because "drywall is just too soft." Easy to spot these lads, their the ones with the flat nose asking their partner to slap them on the back of the head bfore every set.

11. The Mountain Man

Apparently, he just walked in from taking down some trees in the backcountry and didn't have time to change out of his dirty sweatpants, flannel shirt and work boots before heading to the gym. Yep he's easy to follow as he's the one that leaves a trail of boot prints in shit all the way round the gym floor.


If you're not in the gym for a serious workout, but to set the stair machine on 1 and try desperately hard not to sweat and mess up your precious hair and makeup, hop yourself out the door. Leisure Suit Larry is hanging out in the parking lot waiting someone... ANYONE....PLEASE!!

13..Mirror Mirror On the Wall " Are You All Watching?"

Come on turn around, I'm ready to start my set, but I need you to watch me ( Hurry up before I drop the friggin weight)

Now I can start...Where going? I have not finished yet

Did you see that set? Looked good did'nt I? yer I know!!

Mario Who Is Vest (Tank TOP) King, Even In The Winter!!

Nipples like bullets in the December breeze and a immune system to match, nothing will make this dude put a sweater on, not even if he was locked in the Mcdonalds walk in feezer.